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We've been friends for over two decades, who has overcome several hardships, which I admire. But, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her partner ended their marriage, and it was an unexpected event. Many of her friends drifted away then, as they were only interested in her husband. It shocked her. She made increased attention to be my friend, and must have understood more acutely the meaning of companionship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, several of her friends have disappeared without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she was highly competent, and she left without knowing why things shifted.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we have each left the workforce and are seeing time together, but I am finding my position in the relationship is to listen. I introduce discussion points and she changes conversation onto her own topics. In terms of politics, she expresses firm beliefs. My effort is to recommend double-checking information or other angles.

She is planning a holiday abroad I have traveled to many times and lived in for a while. I attempted to provide advice, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially only wanted me to confirm her plans. I have ended four weeks in that country she is eager to meet, however, I hesitate.

Considering the Choices

I am unwilling to be a friend that walks away without explanation, yet I doubt she can understand the impact of her actions on my confidence. Currently, my state is distancing myself. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

It's possible to walk away, but it is not often the easy answer we hope for. But confrontation with the goal of resolution demands strength and willingness for each of you.

Experts suggest applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially involves describing how things go in your conversations. Aim for this to be objective and clear like exactly what occurs. Next is to express how this affects you emotionally. Ideally, there's no disagreement on this point. Emotions are your feelings, after all. The third step is to ask how you are both going to change the interaction in your relationship."

Consider she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to stay open to listen to her. An approach that works involves stating your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to not say anything for 30 minutes."

This can be effective in fostering better communication.

Final Thoughts

Your friend may dismiss your concerns, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they have a story of their life they won't abandon as it feels essential depends upon it and it's all they trust. It's tough when there seems no clear path with these people, just dead ends. However, she might initially present defensively and then think on your words. And should a resolution isn't found a resolution, it provides closure knowing you were honest with her.